January 16, 2010

I have spent more time in doctor’s offices in the first two weeks of 2010 than I did the entire year of 2009.  I have read so many magazines in waiting rooms I should be a guru on how people live in Hollywood,  how to organize my entire house, and how to cook that perfect meal.   With that said, I am so very thankful to have doctors and healthcare specialized to know such intricate areas of our bodies.  God made us so amazingly complex -I am in awe at doctor’s abilities to help us.

So I shall begin our journey…Sawyer has brought us a gift from Ethiopia in the form of a bacteria called H. Pylori.  It is a pretty basic bacteria but can reak havoc on your stomach and esophagus. He had to have an upper endoscopy(had to stick a tube down his throat) to find out what was going on.  It was a long day in the hospital of vomit and became even longer the ride home stuck in trafiic on I-85 as he vomits in his carseat. Aren’t you glad I shared)   A pretty helpless feeling as  mom.  Again inspite of all the frustration, so grateful for the doctor who put in the years at school to be able to even perform this procedure to help children.  They found alot going on in Sawyer’s body but are treating one thing at a time…first the H. Pylori which is treated with 3  antibiotics.  Next for him will be giardia(for the 4th time) and potential celiac disease.  So anyone who is adopting from EThiopia-I would love to be a health resource for you if you have any issues with your children that are similar.

On to me…I have seen many specialists as it pertains to fertility and pregnancy and after 20+ viles of blood taken they discovered I have a blood clotting disorder(it has a long technical name).  What this means to me is that if I were to ever get pregnant againI would have to give myself a shot in the stomach everyday.  Good stuff -but am more than willing to do it if GOd allows me to conceive!  It also is why they believe Bradford died.   The pathology  autopsy revealed a clot in the vessel from me to the placenta.  There was a part of me that felt relieved that I didn’t do something and then a part still frustrated at God for allowing the clotting to be an issue(once again the battle of “isn’t He able to fix a small bloodclot”)  I have moments that I wonder if I had just taken baby aspirin would she be here with us.  I recognize though the Lord chose not to intervene and His plan was for her to live only 20 weeks.(can’t say I am at perfect peace with that truth yet)

On a lighter note, I also have the H. Pylori and will soon begin treatment  as well.  My wonderful friend Kristin brought a whole new perpective to these diagnosis. She just laughed and said “Yeah, you have blood clotting and H. pylori, at least you know and can treat it!”   Everyone needs a friend like her to bring you to a place of praise.  I need to be reminded of the blessing of the medical advancements and care we are so privleged to have here.  A reminder too that I am broken and in need of help….”my soul yearns, even faints, forthe courts of the Lord; my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God.”

All of my plights seem so trivial and insignificant in light of what has happened in Haiti.  I have cried at so many horiffic images.  I can’t seem to fathom the heartache or breathe it in completely.  I know God is good….it just a truth that is hard to hold onto when you see such devastation….  My eyes are too teary to even begin to see clearly or understand his ways.


You don’t know me, but I just happened across your blog. I was reading about your clotting condition. I too have a clotting issue. My first baby was born at 27 weeks when I developed preeclampsia and HELLP syndrome. She had stopped growing at about 24 weeks and some of organs had massive damage due to the lack of blood (because of the clotting issue) She lived for 7 days. I often wonder if the doctors had caught this condition or if I had taken a baby aspirin and been on bedrest etc. that maybe she would have lived. I have gone on to have 2 healthy boys. I had to give myself shots in the stomach with both pregnancies and a baby aspirin. I also took calcium, fish oil, folic acid in addition to prenatals.

I just wanted to share my story with you. Just to let you know I understand the pain of losing a baby.

Good luck to you and your family!


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